dieting and it sucks right now

Well as many Americans of todays society I have jumped on the band wagon and am now dieting. Today marks the end of my second week ( what I would like to call hell week). I am currently doing the medifast diet and am learning so much about food. This diet is very easy to follow and it actually does work! I have lost 12 pounds! Now I weigh every morning if I weigh during the day I might be a pound heavier due to water etc. I am not sure how I am going to fell about being skinny again. My biggest fears is that I will put in all this hard effort on this diet and a year from now screw it up! I can't help I love to eat! And it doesn't help that my husband eats for two just himself. Food has run my life for to long and it has got to stop. No longer will I look at an overweight person and think "jeez fatty get off your ass and do something about it!" Cause guess what I was right there with them. I loved food and food loved me back. Food would never talk back to me, yell at me, scream my name, it would always listen to me you get my drift. Food was my comfort something for me to turn to when I needed a little make me feel better type thing. Looking back 10 years ago when I 16 I never imagined I would be this heavy. I just remember me in a bikini soaking up the uv rays trying to be the tannest girl out of my friends. Time after time though I would turn to food and not even realize what I was doing "ooh I will just start walking tomorrow" When I became pregnant with Lola I gained 60 or 65 pounds I can't remember the exact. I will never forget going to my 37 week appointment and the midwife looking at me like "damn gina" lol.....She politely said "do you drink a lot of juice?" I said to her " I love me some milk mam...." then she said "well you might want to cut back your gonna have to take this weight off after the baby you know?" aaaahh the joys of pregnancy! I became smarter with Henry because I was already starting overweight and I could not and WOULD not gain 60 pounds! I walked everyday with him. Okay so now that you have my background on how I became fat you get a better understanding of my situation. I had lost all the baby weight when I began Medifast. Medifast contains soups, shakes, bars, pudding, oatmeal etc. Without the help of family I would never be able to afford this program. In my first week I lost 6 pounds! The first wasn't that bad I got very jittery and couldn't really sleep. This week my 2nd has been a true test. Oh and of course when you are dieting the commercials on tv have to be about food not just one but every single one is about FOOD!!!!! So the second week has come to an end and my total weight loss is.....drum roll please....12 pounds!!! That is amazing and crazy... I am finally back in the 1's! I never imagined I would say I way 210 pounds! I mean that is absurd.
Medifast food is nothing to brag about the soups are just okay and the oatmeal is something that I look forward to every morning! I am on what is called the 5&1 plan which is 5 medifast meals a day and 1 lean and green meal. The more I diet right now it seems it is getting harder. Just watching a Pappa Johns delivery car go by made my mouth water!!!! talk about nuts.....I am constantly smelling the fried food. Everyone on medifast that I talk to says it gets easier but when people?? I am afraid I might eat a gallon of ice cream purely because insanity drove me to it! lol.....Nick comes home tomorrow so hopefully he will notice a difference in my body. Probably not cause he is a guy and they don't notice nothing. I am sticking with this diet for the long haul! I am ready to be skinny and I want my kids to remember me skinny! Now if only I could work on being more productive during the day? my next blog is going to be about that!